Eff You, Pinterest. I’m Not Perfect.

Eff You, Pinterest. I’m Not Perfect.

Okay mamas, can we please be honest? I am crafty and I pin the heck out of some cute little treats and DIYs which, like every other normal mom, I plan to actually attempt to make exactly NEVER.

Overachieving mama, how do you do it!? Seriously! Let me in on your secrets. How do you have time to put on makeup, wear anything fancier than yoga pants, go to work, carpool the kids to practice, make dinner, and somehow find it within your soul to create holiday-themed masterpieces out of gluten free rice crispies and non-GMO icing!? I need to understand your life.

I’m over here legitimately wearing the black stretch pants I wore to bed last night with a glorified hooded sweatshirt, no makeup, my hair in a struggle bun, and my kids are homeschooled! Y’all I didn’t have to get anyone ready but myself.

Let me get coffee with you, mother of three and maker of goodie bags for holidays like National Stapler Day. Please allow me time to take notes. I need to hire you…and a housekeeper, a stylist, and a personal driver.

Am I alone in this fight to make it each morning!?

Moms who are frantically applying mascara in the carpool line, you are my people. Did you spill your coffee on yourself too, then just soak it up with old Chick-fil-A napkins and put on a jacket like a boss? Yaaasssss, mama. We are soul sisters.

Meanwhile, makers of Pinterest, STOP IT! Stop promoting success through a DIY treat-filled world where stain free mamas rule preschool while the rest of us are struggling to keep our kids from drinking ketchup only to shrug our shoulders because we are too tired to argue and just chalk it up to, “tomato is a fruit, right!?”

I’m running on four things: a whole lot of coffee, bottles of dry shampoo, yoga pants I’ve worn multiple days in a row, and the knowledge that wine comes in a box that holds more than two typical bottles. That is my real life. There is no room for Disney shaped cake pans, decorating goodie bags, or hand embroidering monograms on Ugg boots for kindergartners.

Forget you, Pinterest. I love you but I hate you. I will keep pinning recipes with ingredients I can’t pronounce because it is 3am and I’m about to eat my bedsheets like normal people.


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Eff You, Pinterest. I'm Not Perfect.

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2 Replies to “Eff You, Pinterest. I’m Not Perfect.”

  1. Hi, I’m that Pinterest mom, I wear yoga pants most day too, but there’s no secret and I’m not perfect! —it’s just planning and organization and set days for tasks. I homeschool, work 10- 20 hrs/week which means I have less hours at home to do the cleaning cooking. This forces me to be super efficient/deliberate with my time. Some days are less than picture perfect and one of my kids melts down because he can’t feed himself soup with a fork, but every day has a plan. My kids are 4 and 3 (Irish twins). We homeschool, have activities/clubs and groups we belong to. We’re busybjustblike everyone else. Our week looks something like this Sunday’s I put the sheets and towels to wash before we leave house. We try to do a fun family activity, go out to lunch, etc and spend afternoon playing together, sometimes we have a birthday, outing, etc. some Sundays we do bigger projects around house, tackle some bigger to do list items, etc. Monday’s and Tuesday’s I try to put in a couple -few loads of laundry and get it put away. Also I meal plan/shop for week. Wednesday’s is my cooking day. I cook 4-5 meals in 3-4 hrs including cleanup. This is only time my kids get to watch some select videos (we don’t do screen time). If im making something that freezes we’ll, I made double or quadruple. Those freezer meals come in handy on extra busy weeks, for a potluck, etc. but after the cooking is done, my kitchen is clean, stays mostly clean because we’re only reheating/assembling meals. I don’t have to think what’s for dinner every night, I just pull out whatever we’re eating that day, if it’s a casserole it gets popped into oven, soup gets quickly reheated or left in crock pot if we’ll be out, a stir fry gets quickly assembled. Thursday’s. I clean bathrooms, dust and do floors (this takes 2-3 hours max). The kids “help” . Friday we do any last minute tidying/preparation/baking a special treat for weekend, etc. My kids have chores—after each meal , they have to sweep /wipe the table and area underneath. Before naptime and bedtime they have to clean up toys and put into proper bins(labeled with pictures). So House is actually pretty tidy most of time. I make goody bags/party decorations, etc after they’re asleep or during naptime. Most days I nap during naptime. I start working on their birthdays 2-3 mo before. They pick their themes and really look forward to their parties. It’s one of the special memories I like making for them. We lay outfits out night before. Saturday’s we go to church as a family. Things happen and some days/weeks aren’t perfect but having a plan and being organized helps keep us sane. Next time you see one is pinteresty moms—ask us, we’re happy to share and dispell the myth that we’re perfect, we’re not robots, I promise! Email me and I’ll share some of my tips/systems-we’re in this together!

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