I took this innocent snow day picture earlier today. I made a meme out of it. My husband and I laughed at our daughter’s cuteness. But then later tonight, as my same curly headed, crazy little girl was falling asleep on my chest I noticed something.
And I felt like a sh**y mom.
She was nuzzling her soft blonde curls against my cheek and I was pushing them out of the way so I could better see the Pinterest recipes I planned to make later this week. Earlier today, our son got in trouble for acting out, but he was only trying to get my attention as I scoured the internet for budgeting apps.
It made me feel like a phony. How could I post smiling images of all four of us around the table playing Hungry Hungry Hippos when right before then I told my kids I, “didn’t have time” to watch the funny dance they were doing to the 59th time they’d watched Moana today?
I didn’t have time, or I wasn’t choosing to take the time?
Everyday I get up early, I make sure my family has what they need, I work a long day at a thankless job, I come home to make a veiled attempt to give my own family whatever semblance of energy I have left, and then I make dinner and start bedtimes. Girl, I am tired just typing that job description.
While my husband’s time to wind down might be watching some MMA fight or zoning out while he fixes something outside, I need time to unwind too. It seems I find myself lost in the Facebook-Pinterest time continuum too often and the only ones missing out are my kids.
So, while I passionately penned an article about not believing in or making resolutions (and I stand by that), I have to see this adorable picture of my sweet, hilarious little girl for what it is. She put her favorite little pink Leap Frog phone down to snuggle every single one of her babies. She rocked, fed, and kissed each one of them. She didn’t touch the toy that lights up, has buttons, sings songs, and probably teaches her Spanish.
She made time.
Y’all this may seem like a reach for some, but for me it was paralyzing. On these crazy winter days I feel like I am 5 seconds from wanting to dangle my kids out the window, but they seriously do grow and change and evolve so quickly it is insane.
If I don’t make time, step away from my phone, and make real and genuine connections with my kids while they are little, they will eventually stop trying to get my attention. They will assume they already know the result of their feeble attempts.
I know I am not a butthole mom, but sometimes these little flashes of brilliance are eye-opening and painful and messy and beautiful.
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