Why Moms Should Stop Hiding Fears and Frustration


Why do we spend more time apologizing than voicing our concerns, needs, or wants?

When did it become shameful to just vent?

Just because I’ve had a really frustrating day and I am looking more forward to my kids’ bedtime and a 9pm glass of wine than I am for another full day of whining and fighting and complaining from these pint-sized terrorists I intentionally created, doesn’t mean  I hate my kids. It doesn’t make me a bad mom, Karen.

It makes me HUMAN! Not all days are great. In fact, more days are frustrating than fun-filled and sunshine tinted…at least at our house.

Last week, we came back from our first kid-free vacation and we both had the flu. I’m not talking about a little under the weather. I am talking full-out stank death sickness that has me fully convinced that I didn’t even exist last week in real life.

When we got home to our house, it was so cold the door was frozen shut. Our propane ran out while we were gone so it was 20 degrees INSIDE OUR HOUSE. Three outlets (the only ones in our kitchen) decided they quit working for no obvious reason. And our pipes were totally frozen.

They announced their thawing by overflowing BOTH of our toilets on to the hardwood and the toilet seals must have expanded or something because now neither one will flush without a slow leak.

Then, two days after returning, our refrigerator stopped working. Just stopped. So all the meat from our freezer is currently sitting in a red cooler outside in the yard because is is literally -25 outside. For real.

And when we went to figure pricing for a fridge repair, we found out my husband’s job messed up his direct deposit (because people in payroll OBVIOUSLY should add the check number at the end of the routing number) so he hasn’t been paid since Dec. 20th.

Y’all why do I feel like I can’t share this!?

It isn’t the end of the world. We will all make it through this. But it is INSANELY frustrating. It is a difficult season for our little family. I should be able to tell someone that I am just flat-out angry.

Instead, I felt the need to attempt to come up with sweet memes of my kids sleeping or how motherhood is funny. You know what, Karen!? Sometimes it is just HARD. That’s it. H-A-R-D. No silver lining. No frilly shiny ending. It just stinks and that’s okay.

This is not an outcry for help or a pity party for attention. It just is. This is what is actually going on in our real life and it just isn’t fun right now. And that’s okay. We all go through it.

Mamas, we should be able to be honest when we are happy and excited about something just as we can be open about a time of struggle or frustration or fear. It shouldn’t have to feel any different.

Women, we should uplift and support each other when things just plain suck as much as we dance and clap when one of us has a big motherhood win. That is love and friendship…unconditional. Whether things are great or whether you are in the pit.

Being open and honest when I’m struggling to navigate through a difficult season of motherhood, marriage, or life in general doesn’t make me negative; it makes me a truth-teller, a way-maker for other women just like me.


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3 Replies to “Why Moms Should Stop Hiding Fears and Frustration”

  1. Thank you! Sometimes it’s hard and I need a break from the little terrorists, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love them. Bad things happen to us all, and we all survive, it helps to know we are not alone.

  2. I am 45 years old and have had a multitude of female friends and coworkers over the years who are wives and mothers. You are the only one who has ever had the courage to say these things and let me know in the process I am normal. Thank you for that. But this simply should not be. I wish women loved each other more. But we simply don’t. It has been the disappointment of my life and overwhelmingly made it harder and lead to a great deal of unnecessary depression and anxiety.

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