In my twenties, sappiness was for suckers. I was driven. I was career-hungry. I was empowered. I didn’t have time for emotions! Now, ten(ish) years later, I can cry at a Geico commercial. I am the driver of a mini van. I feel powerless. And I am hungry–but for tacos, not promotions.
Things haven’t exactly turned out how I had imagined. And, while I am generally happy with my life, the wild emotions and chaotic hormones I’ve been left with aren’t faring well for me.
So, what do I do? Can I possibly regain some the gusto of my formerly slick, savage years, or am I destined to have secret crying dates in my bathroom floor for the rest of my adult life?
Here are 9 Easy Steps to Regaining Your Fierce.
Let It Hurt:
Emotions, at least for me, suck. I hate them. No matter how much I wish I could have an emotion-ectomy, it is important to let yourself feel those feelings. Trust me, as a chronic feeling-stuffer, you’ve got to get it out so you don’t erupt. But give yourself a set time. I let myself ugly cry for five minutes. In that time I can scream, kick, cry, or cuss, but then I have to keep it moving.
Talk it Out:
As women, we use a lot of words. We heal through talking so talk it out. Find a trusted friend, family member, or partner and get that word vomit out lest you make an idiot of yourself in public. But, again, once you’ve talked it through, quit bringing it up. You don’t want to become that exhausting friend who others avoid.
Girl, you need to sleep! As women and mothers, we tend to deprive ourselves of much-needed rest and we let our minds reel at night, stealing necessary sleep. In order to best recover, we need to sleep it off. So set up a scenario in which your kids are out of the house so you have no distractions. Trust me, girl, those dirty dishes will still be there when you wake up.
Look, I like sweatpants as much as the next mom, but you’ve gotta hang ’em up. Sister, I am a tomboy through and through but I still stand by the old adage that you feel as good as you look. So, slap some paint on the old barn and get ready to take her out for a spin…even if it’s only to Starbucks and Target. You’ll feel better. Trust me.
Grab your Girls:
Nothing heals like a good old fashioned girls night out. What you do doesn’t matter. The only focus for this night is healing. So have a drink, eat great food, and laugh…a lot! It will remind you that you aren’t the only one who feels like she’s slipping, but you all still look incredible and are killing it so take that, emotions!
this isn’t just because i happen to really love being outside, science proves that getting out in nature is a natural energy/mood booster. So whether you are up for a hike or just want to sit on the front porch with your coffee and do your best to move past the wallowing stage, DO IT! The vitamin D will do you some good and I promise you’ll feel happier for it.
Ugh, science. Exercise is my nemisis. I love tacos, not treadmills. However, I do know that I never regret having gone to workout. It boosts your mood and gives you energy. So, this can be a great cure for dumpy-mom-itis. So get out and get moving, sister! You need those good hormones coursing through your previously mopey, Eeyore state.
Ladies, as much as we like to live in the past–whether it is reliving a great moment or reminding our husbands of some way they hurt our feelings in 1992, we gotta give it up! We cannot expect to be able to live a healthy emotional life if we are constantly dwelling on what we cannot change. So, pick yourself up and move along, sister. No time to dwell.
Mamas, we all feel a little less fierce than our college selves. Being moms makes us feel like our sexiness got dusty and our strong, empowered motivated selves were lost somewhere in the shuffle. But they weren’t. They are still there. We just need to keep ourselves in check. We can still feel all of the emotions that come with being wife, mom, friend, employee, boss, or teacher. We just have to regulate and remind ourselves that being middle-aged isn’t the time to throw in the towel. Should we choose to live in and enjoy the present, these could turn into the best years of our lives!