My Husband Loves Me but Not Like You’d Expect

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This may be an unpopular opinion but I want to encourage wives everywhere in case you haven’t considered this perspective.

Spoiler alert: Set aside your 5 Love Languages for this one.

My husband loves me well–by making me food, hugging me tightly, and doing the dishes.

His dirty clothes literally NEVER (Not. Ever.) make it into the hamper.

If he’s solo parenting, the house will inevitably look like no less than three natural disasters hit, simultaneously–but our kids will be alive and fed and (sometimes) clean.

He will promise to ‘get to’ an entire list of things like changing the car oil, taking out the trash, and fixing how much the front door currently squeaks when you close it. He will do none of them in the timeframe I expected. Then, when I attempt to do it myself, he will get frustrated with me (an equation I still haven’t solved).

But my husband loves me well.

Last week, I started grad school…as a 38 year old homeschooling, entrepreneurial mother of two, one of whom has extra mental health and behavioral needs, and I haven’t been in college in 15 years.

Certifiably crazy, I know, but I felt lead so here we are.

This thrusts my well-intentioned husband into solo parenting MUCH more often and, consequently, shoves my anxiety right to the edge of crazy town.

But my husband loves me well.

Today, he fixed the coffee, let me sleep a little longer since I was the one up with the kids last night, and then brought me a ‘cado egg’ as I was buried in reading and highlighters and anxious spirals about grad school.

Our kids still argued. He still got annoyed with them. I still had to re-read the same paragraph eleventy times.

But my husband loves me well.

Friends, it might sound ideal to have a husband who dotes on our kids, plays dress up and tea parties and football, cleans the house and also brings in the financial stability.

It may seem like a man loves you with roses and chocolates, diamonds and date nights, but sometimes that just isn’t real-life. That shouldn’t discount good intentions.

My husband spends an unexplainable amount of time watching motorcycle videos on YouTube and I can’t even begin to understand how a grown human can be completely unbothered by a messy house.

But my husband loves me well.

In our house, it more often looks like an episode of Friends with some hilarious mix of Joey and Chandler trying to parent and then Monica comes home and freaks out because the place is a disaster.

But my husband loves me well.

So we are learning, 15 years in, to laugh at the insanity, support each other in the chaos, appreciate our strengths, and give grace in our weaknesses.

Because things don’t need to be picture perfect to love each other well.

Sometimes avocado eggs and hot coffee during study breaks are as loving as any diamond or date night and that reality can be pretty beautiful. 

**Follow me on IG @themamaontherocks

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