There is no question that going tiny has been a game changer for our little family. The decision to radically downsize has done a wealth of good for us, but it is the sneaky ways simplification has improved our lives that I love to discover.
I realized I looked different from most of my friends sometime in middle school. Within a year, I was asked out as a joke, publicly given Slim Fast for Valentine’s Day, and referred to as “Twinkie Lady” in my unapproved role as the villain in the school newspaper cartoon. This was pretty shocking to my undeveloped brain since, up until that point, I assumed I was friends with everyone and I honestly never even considered how myself or anyone else looked as they compared to each other.
After the painful realization that my body type qualified me as an outlier and would forever cast me in the role of DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend), I decided that no one had ever been allowed to ‘get to me’ before and so I wouldn’t change that now.
I was a master manipulator of my own feelings and facial expressions. No one ever saw me publicly express emotion. I was able to separate and compartmentalize things that didn’t fit into my “Funny Friend” box whether I was at school or at home. Emotions were private and almost never expressed even in the dark recesses of my own Teen Beat covered bedroom walls.
It wasn’t until early adulthood that I realized that, while I stayed busy warding off the offenses of onlookers, I was still allowing their voices to live inside my own head.
Prior to living tiny, I had an entire side of my closet designated to store totes filled with “skinny clothes”. This was an entire wardrobe of clothes I wore pre-babies and post-college. As much as I wish it was possible, I will unlikely fit into these ever again. Downsizing gave me the freedom to give these totes and the weight of them all away to beautiful mamas who can actually wear them!
I was able to bless other mamas and finally quiet the voices inside who had been telling me for years, “You’re going to wear that?!” “You look horrible.” “Everyone will joke about that outfit.”
Now, every single item of clothing I wear is something that I am comfortable in, that gives me confidence, and that I can walk proudly in knowing that the voice is on mute. If something no longer fits, it has to go!
Downsizing my wardrobe helped me reclaim my confidence and I will forever be grateful to own my size and share my confidence through encouraging other women to do the same.